With Valentine's day less than a week away, I feel compelled to breakdown what a good friend of mine refers to as "The Hallmark Holiday." V-day is supposed to be a day of love and romance but seems to ignite more sparks of disagreement rather than love. Debate surrounds this day almost as much as the term Merry Christmas (which btw I think is crap, but that's a different soap box). So, here's my outlook...
Men have issues with this day because it forces them to be romantic on some level. My argument with that is well-maybe if you took the initiative the rest of the year to remind us that we are loved, we are beautiful, and we are the one you really do want f.o.r.e.v.e.r (despite our age, weight, or frizzy hair) women decades ago wouldn't have claimed this day as a way for you to make us feel special...now I didn't say this was a good argument, just the obvious one.
Women who have issues with this day are rarely in relationships. (Sorry, but it is true) However to be nice to these fragile hearts. Truth be told, there aren't many women who dislike Valentine's every year, their entire life.
Exception- As always there are exceptions. The rare man does exist who lives for the romance that can come on day such as February 14. I happen to know one such individual. He is a romantic at heart and he uses this very special day of love as an excuse to go over the top in his gestures, but not because that is what you are "supposed" to do but rather because it is who he is at his core, a true "romantic being." Equally rare- is the woman (who does exist) who believes that Valentines is truly just another another day to smile sweetly and be appreciative for what she has in a partner and speak from the heart just as she does each night before bed : ).
Personally, I am all three. I have had my moments of bitter disappointment spending my fair share of Valentine's day alone and absolutely cursing the day. I have had my time, admittedly sometimes strapped financially or maybe not in the best of relationships, where the last thing I wanted to do was be romantic. And then there are the times when I have spent romantic evenings being wined and dined at fine restaurants. As a woman I admit that celebrating Valentine's Day and succumbing to this hallmark holiday is much more enjoyable than fighting against it.
There are always going to be moments in life when we wish things were a different way but we can't change that Monday is Monday...we have no way of making it Friday so we just have to put on a smile and get through, then it's over before you know it...even the longest of days come to an end. So if you really hate this holiday I am sorry, but put on a smile and it will come to an end; and unlike Mondays you have an entire year until it comes your way again. The bottom line is ITS VALENTINES DAY ...ITS ABOUT LOVE. ANY KIND OF LOVE. Draw a heart on a piece of paper and give it to your mom, your dad, your child, your pet...it's about making someone smile and if you are lucky enough you may get one yourself. So maybe it is a "hallmark holiday" what's wrong that? My last "hallmark" was pretty phenomenal <3
Monday, February 8, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
"There's no such thing as playing it safe..."
"There's no such thing as playing it safe. There are really only two paths the one that is right, and the one that is almost right. When you take the latter it is merely god telling you "okay, well if you really want to go that way, well, alrighty then." " Her words echoed through my mind, I wasn't afraid, I was scarcely calm. Everything was resonating. I am not sure what I was expecting to get out of this experience but this wasn't it...was it? Some would say her words were generic, this woman had given me so much in such a short amount of time, my mind was reeling. As soon as I got off the phone I thought to myself, okay-alright-I can breathe, she made sense. I quickly dialed my husband, no answer. So I dialed my mom and told her about every word (I could recall) from this intuitive counselor. I think, well I know rather, my mom doesn't believe this kind of thing. But something about the validity she gave me was calming and I was very much appreciative.
I have fears, we all do, and for the last few weeks my husband and I have been considering making some significant changes to our life, but other things were coming to fruition. Some might call these things "signs" and others "tests" the kind of thing that makes you ask are you serious or are you a dreamer and not a doer?? I didn't know which was right and I had heard this lady for months on the radio and I had done some research and was willing to pay for one of her readings to not put myself out there publicly. My husband, the realist and skeptic that he is said OK, if you really want to, but maybe you should just try to get through on the radio first. I agreed. I left it up to fate...if it rang it was meant to be but by no means was I go to hit redial for three hrs. Low and behold, it rang and was answered very quickly. I was guaranteed to be put on the air live as long as I stayed patient and on hold. I could hear the whole show and it was amazing, yet very much Sleepless in Seattle. I laughed, I cried, I rolled my eyes, I even considered hanging up until this sweet, heartbroken old man wanted to be connected to his wife who had passed. This medium knew things about their love, even about the way they slept at night that no one could possible have known...I was convinced. I was her next call. After giving her a very generic request (with all intentionality) testing to see what she would give me. Well within seconds she said and I quote "you are quite the list maker (giggle, giggle) yeah Kerri, you are kind of busted!" OK-she has my attention!
It was such an awesome experience...yes for you skeptics out there maybe she is a flake but in some ways we all kind of are. But whether it be god, a "higher power", Buddha, whatever, isn't life better knowing there is something greater than us and this out there?? And if there is and we believe this, isn't there always an operator? Food for thought I suppose. Either way...what a cool experience for me. I wouldn't say it changed me Per Se, rather allowed a little bit of stress to melt away and a little bit of validity that I am a bit crazy at times and trust that there is a path to remain on, I should continue to move forward, and to remember you have a mind and a gut separately for a reason.
I have fears, we all do, and for the last few weeks my husband and I have been considering making some significant changes to our life, but other things were coming to fruition. Some might call these things "signs" and others "tests" the kind of thing that makes you ask are you serious or are you a dreamer and not a doer?? I didn't know which was right and I had heard this lady for months on the radio and I had done some research and was willing to pay for one of her readings to not put myself out there publicly. My husband, the realist and skeptic that he is said OK, if you really want to, but maybe you should just try to get through on the radio first. I agreed. I left it up to fate...if it rang it was meant to be but by no means was I go to hit redial for three hrs. Low and behold, it rang and was answered very quickly. I was guaranteed to be put on the air live as long as I stayed patient and on hold. I could hear the whole show and it was amazing, yet very much Sleepless in Seattle. I laughed, I cried, I rolled my eyes, I even considered hanging up until this sweet, heartbroken old man wanted to be connected to his wife who had passed. This medium knew things about their love, even about the way they slept at night that no one could possible have known...I was convinced. I was her next call. After giving her a very generic request (with all intentionality) testing to see what she would give me. Well within seconds she said and I quote "you are quite the list maker (giggle, giggle) yeah Kerri, you are kind of busted!" OK-she has my attention!
It was such an awesome experience...yes for you skeptics out there maybe she is a flake but in some ways we all kind of are. But whether it be god, a "higher power", Buddha, whatever, isn't life better knowing there is something greater than us and this out there?? And if there is and we believe this, isn't there always an operator? Food for thought I suppose. Either way...what a cool experience for me. I wouldn't say it changed me Per Se, rather allowed a little bit of stress to melt away and a little bit of validity that I am a bit crazy at times and trust that there is a path to remain on, I should continue to move forward, and to remember you have a mind and a gut separately for a reason.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Today I found something, something I have been looking for for YEARS! Something, I never really lost but was always in hot pursuit. No, it wasn't a man, I have one of those...this was even better. MY FASHION STYLE. Admittedly as the author of a blog with the given title I am somewhat embarrassed to admit this, and so early on into our relationship, but I figured I'd come out with this adulthood struggle sooner rather than later. But even the fashionistas out there have had their time.
So here's the thing, I am a black pant, white poplin collar shirt, with haute shoes kind of woman. For years my wardrobe consisted of black, black, and more black. The more I shopped the more I would force myself into bright colors with bold and loud patterns, but I never felt comfortable. I always felt like I was wearing something unflattering, I had this unsettling feeling that I wasn't adding up, so to speak. I was rejecting my inner fashion sense! Don't misunderstand I never wore anything worthy of what not to wear. I just had this idea that fashion was a general protocol and was ignoring the reflection that must come from within. That all changed...yesterday. The day before was comfy day at work. I had on a nice pair of jeans and a t-shirt until I got to work and pulled on my work polo and switched into some matching brown flip flops (yes, I wear flip flops in the middle of winter and my stiletto boots are in transition fyi). When I got up yesterday morning I felt the need to get all dressed up for work so I slipped into a comfy v-neck red pocketdress with a large black belt and my black heels (a personal signature). I admit I was feeling pretty good. That is until I ran into one of my colleagues who was dressed completely opposite but looked phenomenal, and chic. Tweed pants with a turtleneck and a great pair of boots with some gorgeous pearl earrings. She complemented my dress and how red is a good color on me...but all I could think of was wow I really want to be wearing your outfit. For whatever the reason I couldn't stop thinking about this encounter. Jump forward to last night, big dinner party at my house so I tucked myself away with one of my favorite movies FOBII. I have always admired the women in this movie, I have always been fascinated with that kind of perfection. Jump ahead one more time to this morning when I was getting dressed when I realized my wardrobe was absolutely NOT me and I had the urge to dispose all of it to the local Salvation Army, or ship it all to those poor people in Haiti. I don't want this I am a conservative. I need conservative clothes. Where have they all gone? Shouldn't they be here? How do I get them back? This sounds like a frantic feeling but the realization itself was oddly settling and very much a feeling of peace as if I had just found my keys in the most obvious of places after searching for hours on end. I am so excited yet quite embarrassed that it had taken me so long to put it together. Then I wondered how many other women, fashionistas or not, have this kind of dilemma? I mean many of the worlds highest and respected celebs in fashion have designers and personal buyers, the rest of us have to figure it out on our own and sometimes it's harder than it should be. But I must say, it is liberating and relieving. Now whenever I go shopping I am going to try to buy once staple piece, a shirt here, some pants, a cashmere sweater, maybe some more pearl earrings (I LOVE THEM) and of course shoes and purses as they find me (because I do not shop for accessories, accessories shop for me). Now this is not to say an occasional bright top will not be omitted it will simply be toned down with a jacket or a pashmina, but now I know (a little bit more of) who I am and while to some this may seem a bit too circumstantial, narcissistic, or vanity at it's extreme, I challenge women everywhere to deny that at somepoint they haven't questioned their wardrobe and who they are in the clothes they wear and whether or not the two match..For me I, it is nice for no one else, but me, to say thankfully I (finally) match.
So here's the thing, I am a black pant, white poplin collar shirt, with haute shoes kind of woman. For years my wardrobe consisted of black, black, and more black. The more I shopped the more I would force myself into bright colors with bold and loud patterns, but I never felt comfortable. I always felt like I was wearing something unflattering, I had this unsettling feeling that I wasn't adding up, so to speak. I was rejecting my inner fashion sense! Don't misunderstand I never wore anything worthy of what not to wear. I just had this idea that fashion was a general protocol and was ignoring the reflection that must come from within. That all changed...yesterday. The day before was comfy day at work. I had on a nice pair of jeans and a t-shirt until I got to work and pulled on my work polo and switched into some matching brown flip flops (yes, I wear flip flops in the middle of winter and my stiletto boots are in transition fyi). When I got up yesterday morning I felt the need to get all dressed up for work so I slipped into a comfy v-neck red pocketdress with a large black belt and my black heels (a personal signature). I admit I was feeling pretty good. That is until I ran into one of my colleagues who was dressed completely opposite but looked phenomenal, and chic. Tweed pants with a turtleneck and a great pair of boots with some gorgeous pearl earrings. She complemented my dress and how red is a good color on me...but all I could think of was wow I really want to be wearing your outfit. For whatever the reason I couldn't stop thinking about this encounter. Jump forward to last night, big dinner party at my house so I tucked myself away with one of my favorite movies FOBII. I have always admired the women in this movie, I have always been fascinated with that kind of perfection. Jump ahead one more time to this morning when I was getting dressed when I realized my wardrobe was absolutely NOT me and I had the urge to dispose all of it to the local Salvation Army, or ship it all to those poor people in Haiti. I don't want this I am a conservative. I need conservative clothes. Where have they all gone? Shouldn't they be here? How do I get them back? This sounds like a frantic feeling but the realization itself was oddly settling and very much a feeling of peace as if I had just found my keys in the most obvious of places after searching for hours on end. I am so excited yet quite embarrassed that it had taken me so long to put it together. Then I wondered how many other women, fashionistas or not, have this kind of dilemma? I mean many of the worlds highest and respected celebs in fashion have designers and personal buyers, the rest of us have to figure it out on our own and sometimes it's harder than it should be. But I must say, it is liberating and relieving. Now whenever I go shopping I am going to try to buy once staple piece, a shirt here, some pants, a cashmere sweater, maybe some more pearl earrings (I LOVE THEM) and of course shoes and purses as they find me (because I do not shop for accessories, accessories shop for me). Now this is not to say an occasional bright top will not be omitted it will simply be toned down with a jacket or a pashmina, but now I know (a little bit more of) who I am and while to some this may seem a bit too circumstantial, narcissistic, or vanity at it's extreme, I challenge women everywhere to deny that at somepoint they haven't questioned their wardrobe and who they are in the clothes they wear and whether or not the two match..For me I, it is nice for no one else, but me, to say thankfully I (finally) match.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Blog Virgin...sort of.
For most of us, the first time we have sex follows a number of other "encounters" that could've led to sex but didn't (thankfully). We don't consider ourselves new to the game so to speak, however we've never gone all. the. way. Well, fellow bloggers, that is how I feel about the world of blogging. I have made a few posts on other sites here and there; dabbled in some pre-blog foreplay, but only now have I made the command decision to go all. the. way. I must admit there is something to it, blogging that is (ok, both really). Although, I am excited about my new mode of expression and I look forward to picking up fun tricks and learning from others as I go (hope you don't mind) nothing can be truly as satisfying as knowing, this time around, I don't have to worry about using any "special protection" or take a pill before posting (interesting thought though), but as I write it occurs to me... I could still get a virus...damn those things follow you everywhere!
Okay, really, enough with the metaphor, so I am new to this whole thing, that's okay. My whole point in starting this lovely blog wasn't to develop sassy, slightly inappropriate metaphors rather have a place to put my thoughts out into a land seemingly endless. I am a woman, I am a mother, I am a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and a professional (to name a few). I put my whole heart into everything I do; and if I had all the money in the world I would have a new pair of black stilettos each time. I am a little bit smarmy, but never mean offense. I would do anything for just about anyone, within reason and legalities (of course) and my friends and family are my life. I am terrified of flying, dying, and crying at work; and without a doubt my husband and daughter are the best part of me.
So I don't really know what's to come in regard to subjects; I can't guarantee at some point this could be my release of obsession, frustration, and a few oh, so, sappy moments but no matter what I am very much looking forward to this...
Okay, really, enough with the metaphor, so I am new to this whole thing, that's okay. My whole point in starting this lovely blog wasn't to develop sassy, slightly inappropriate metaphors rather have a place to put my thoughts out into a land seemingly endless. I am a woman, I am a mother, I am a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and a professional (to name a few). I put my whole heart into everything I do; and if I had all the money in the world I would have a new pair of black stilettos each time. I am a little bit smarmy, but never mean offense. I would do anything for just about anyone, within reason and legalities (of course) and my friends and family are my life. I am terrified of flying, dying, and crying at work; and without a doubt my husband and daughter are the best part of me.
So I don't really know what's to come in regard to subjects; I can't guarantee at some point this could be my release of obsession, frustration, and a few oh, so, sappy moments but no matter what I am very much looking forward to this...
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